Watery Signs Blues


"I am sorry, I didn't have enough time to be brief."
I remember Jean-Charles making a speech for his brother in law's birthday. This was his leitmotiv: "I am sorry, I didn't have enough time to be brief." Marcel Proust wrote these words at the end of a letter to a friend. Jean-Charles kept repeating them as he conspicuously enjoyed speaking at length about the art of being brief. 

Jean-Charles' and Marcel Proust's star sign was Cancer (as is my rising sign) I don't know why the sign "Cancer" is not straightforwardly called "crab" given that it is symbolized by a crab, which is a creature that walks sideways. A crab is a typical rambler, as Jean-Charles and Marcel Proust were, with great talent.

(Jean-Charles, by the way, was the husband of my ex-partner's aunt, on her mother's side, and he was making this speech for his wife's sister's husband, but this husband of my ex partner's mother, even though well loved, was not her father)

A crab, or a Cancer, needs to go round and round in circles and circles. It can't reach its goals without knowing everything about the environment, unlike an ultra straightforward Aries, who will reach the goal and find out about the context afterwards. A Cancerian individual may take more time to get where they want to get, but he or she is less likely to get killed by their own goals. I don't say this to criticise, we need kamikazes in this zodiac after all. As for me, Neptunian by my Sun, the universe is the goal, therefore I am at risk of rambling for a while all around the zodiac... 

”Sorry” said Marcel Proust to his friend at the end of a long letter,” I didn't had have time to be brief...”
One day, Jean-Charles died by drowning. He liked fishing. He spent a lot of time during his life pulling fish out of their natural environment, where they could breathe at ease in their own way. One day his car slipped on a muddy path, he was making a reverse manoeuvre as crabs do, the car overturned and fell into the water. He was trapped inside. It must have been a difficult moment to live, unless the adrenaline or any other chemical produced by the brain made it a completely different experience than the scary one we imagine when we dare to try putting ourselves in the dead man's shoes.

Jean-Charles' rising sign was Scorpio, as I am by my Sun. Doesn’t death suit a Scorpio well? When the idea of dying becomes as scary as imagining yourself trapped in a car that has fallen wheels up into muddy waters (how long does it take before all the air is gone?) then our mortal condition becomes so unbearable... So unbearable that it's called Anxiety and is considered a mental health problem. When the imagination becomes so vivid, then the need for another way of being comes up. A need for the certitude that at the bottom of the pool there will be a door opening. Will there be one?

If we are spirit, being a little fish suddenly eaten alive by a kingfisher or a fisherman pulled into the the water by a fish wouldn't be more than some peak of intensity in the great dance of transformation... Can we take refuge there and be safe? Can we reach the 12th house alive?

Sorry, I didn't have time to be brief...

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